Not Child’s Play serves to amplify and honor the experiences of sibling sexual abuse survivors, while fostering conversation, accountability, and compassion among families, perpetrators, and bystanders. This compelling and brave book and website extends an invitation to readers and visitors to witness and actively engage in addressing these issues. The book serves as a lifeline to survivors who have been suffering in silence and isolation. The courageous voices in its pages encourage us all to create a world where sibling sexual abuse is acknowledged and dismantled, where further harm is prevented, and where survivors can reclaim what was stolen from them. Our aim is to eradicate the cycles of shame and secrecy which otherwise silence survivors, conceal their narratives, and perpetuate the cycle of abuse.
Not Child’s Play demands attention.
The moment for acknowledgment has arrived.
Indeed, it is long overdue.
About the Book
“In 1984 I was ready to explode. Even though I could barely stomach the thought of seeing my brother or the rest of my family, there I was on a plane, knowing that in just a few hours I would be telling each one of them that my brother had sexually abused me when we were kids. I knew it was going to be tough, and I was right. With each recounting I was tense, shaking, and wanting to run, but once I started, I couldn’t stop; nor did I want to. Something in my 24-year-old self knew I had to speak, to tell the truth that nobody wanted to hear. I was saving myself.” From the Preface to the second edition of Not Child’s Play.
Not Child’s Play courageously dismantles the veil of silence surrounding the pervasive issue of brother-sister incest. Through the powerful narratives of 35 survivors who endured years of sexual assault by their brothers, the profound trauma and devastation inflicted by this hidden form of abuse are brought to light. These women, expressing themselves through prose, poetry, and visual art, boldly expose long-concealed family secrets and injuries that have lingered in the shadows of shame and silence for far too long.
The release of this second edition of Not Child’s Play in 2024 features a new preface by Dr. Shaw. Originally published in 2000, the book explores this most difficult topic in an extraordinarily courageous and unprecedented way. The second edition comes at a crucial juncture when discussions about sexual abuse, particularly against women and girls, have gained prominence in public discourse, notably through initiatives like #MeToo. Despite this heightened awareness, survivors of brother-sister incest have lacked a comparable platform until now, with the emergence of Not Child’s Play, revealing the profound harm inflicted by their brothers. This book once again amplifies the compelling voices of these survivors, issuing a stirring call for accountability and healing.
“Not Child’s Play is a lifeline for survivors. By sharing the truths of their lives, these 35 courageous women are helping to erase ignorance and transform denial into acknowledgement and action.”
Lucy Tatman, PhD
“Not Child’s Play is a bomb that will drop into the complacent lives of families who will not or cannot see or hear their daughters’ and sisters’ unspoken pleas for protection, support and vindication. These words and images will tear down the wall that has shielded brother-sister incest from the flame of public scrutiny and personal outrage.”
Lynn Bonde, JD, MSW
About Risa Shaw, Ph.D.
Dr. Risa Shaw is a survivor of brother-sister incest. In her new preface of the second edition of Not Child’s Play, she reveals the power of 40 years of truth-telling to address the abuse, shame, self-blame, self-hatred, and damage done not only to her, but to every survivor of sibling incest.
Risa is an educator, leader, and activist. As a (now retired) Professor of Interpreting and Linguistics at Gallaudet University she mentored students, confronted institutional racism and homophobia, and focused her research on power and privilege. Her doctoral work examined disclosure stories of deaf and hearing survivors of sibling sexual abuse having told family members about the abuse.
Risa has never shied away from the challenge of telling truth to power and she intentionally finds ways to center and amplify the voices of those silenced by oppression and violence. She has participated in and organized numerous actions against patriarchy, misogyny, racism, ableism, anti-immigrant discrimination, audism, and anti-LGBTQ+ efforts. Living her life out loud for over 40 years in the Washington, D.C. area, Dr. Shaw shares her life with her wife of 36 years and a large beloved community. With the first edition of Not Child’s Play in 2000 and now the publication of a second edition with a new Preface, Foreword, and Afterword, Risa has translated decades of hard, brave, and meaningful work into a means of healing both for herself and for her readers.